I haven't deleted the blog, but I'm not exactly using it.

Consistency seems to be yet another one of my flaws, or to be more accurate, lack of consistency ...

I ruined my diet. It was going well for more than 3 months *snorts* 3 bloody months... it's hardly anything and I was struggling with it so much. One conclusion: bad diet. Or no... maybe exactly that: it WAS a diet and diets just don't work. I need to alter my feeding pattern, a lifestyle change.

Urgh.

I should write a bloody book. It's the "thing" to do when you talk this type of crap -_-

I'm not going to pretend. Dieting has become an obsession. I'm terribly unhappy with who I am, with how I look. I feel miserable and ashamed. All I think about, on an hourly basis, is food. But for some, stupid, fucked-up reason, I'm not obsessed enough to actually stick to my bloody diets.

It's absolutely fucking ridiculous.

I have come to the point where I would actually be happy with an eating disorder. THAT, right there, shows that I have a problem. OF COURSE having an eating problem isn't nice to have and yet, in my stupid head, I secretly wish I did.

*sigh*

I need to fix this naive girly issue. It's short of ridiculous.